Entitled? Empowered? Confident?

As an educator today, I know it must be difficult to deal with some students.  Many students arrive in the classroom with a sense of entitlement. They believe that the teacher owes them something just for showing up.  Many students believe just participation warrants them a certain grade. They do not believe that deadlines apply to them and they treat the teacher as their employee. Some even believe that they pay the teacher’s salary.

As a parent, I have said more than once that I want my daughter to be confident and empowered.  Even though these are positive traits to instill in children, they can lead to entitlement if not properly learned.

Where does entitlement come from? 

From Entitled to Empowered: Building Four Virtues in Students to Combat Entitlement in the Classroom

This article gives some possible reasons for the increasing sense entitlement. Elmore believes that a sense of entitlement stems from a variety of factors:

·       Parental thought that the more you give your kids the better you are

·       Ribbon, trophies and excess praise that give reward for average or minimal effort

·       The me-centered platform that is built by social media sites – 24/7

·       The message given by the media and society that if you are dissatisfied you deserve more

·       The celebrity culture that has exposed kids to the Hollywood lifestyle and poor behavior (Elmore, 2014)

Elmore also gives some ingredients that can help students emerge from a classroom or home without this sense of entitlement.  He describes it as a “recipe” for healthy students:

·       Patience

·       Gratitude

·       Responsibility

·       Humility  (Elmore, 2014)

How has the sense of entitlement changed?

The American Freshman Survey has been completed by nine million young people since 1966. The number of students that describe themselves as above average has risen dramatically over the past four decades.  It appears that has been a dramatic decrease in the amount of students that study six or more hours each week. (Kremer, 2013)

When does the sense of entitlement start to form?

Losing is Good for You

In my opinion this starts very early in a child’s development.  I think that children need to learn that there are some that do better than others and that there are winners and losers.  When I was a child, there were ribbons for participation but the winners receive trophies. This gave me the incentive to work harder to receive a trophy during the next competition. The next article discusses how losing is good for children. It explains how the practice of kids getting a trophy, win or lose, sets a path for sense of entitlement. 

Jennifer Heuer, Photographs courtesy of CSA Images/Getty Images

Do they think they are entitled?

I found an interesting quiz that supposedly lets a person see if they have an inflated since of entitlement. Visit this website to see this quiz.  Are you Entitled?. 

I realize that everyone may not agree with my views on this. I have one daughter and the first thing people say when I tell them is, “Oh, she’s an only child”.  This stigma that people have labeled for only children is what has led me to the opinions that I have about entitlement in children and students.  I strive to instill confidence in my child and at the same time not give her a sense of entitlement.  

References
Elmore, T. (2014, April 21). From entitled to empowered: Building four virtues in students to combat entitlement in the classroom. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tim-elmore/from-entitled-to-empowere_b_4804516.html
Kremer, W. (2013, January 3). BBC News - Does confidence really breed success? Retrieved from http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-20756247
Merryman, A. (2014, September 24). Losing is good for you. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/25/opinion/losing-is-good-for-you.html?_r=0
Yarrow, K. (2010, June 18). Quiz! Are you entitled? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-why-behind-the-buy/201006/quiz-are-you-entitled